Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Where do I begin???

So much has happened since my last post.

Some happy; some not so happy but rather scary.

I was released from the hospital on Monday afternoon, after my OB doctor came by to check on me. This was one day early, but he seemed to think I was doing fine, and I was soooooo excited to be getting home and starting my new life with my little family. I missed my husband, my son, and my own bed.

My Mom arrived in town on Monday morning after a short delay with her flight.

So I came home at around 5pm on Monday the 25th. Unfortunately, Bug was very sick from the flu, and he had a really hard afternoon; throwing up several times. Bryan got Bug to bed. He was sleeping in our bedroom with Bryan while I planned to sleep on the couch because I could prop myself up better. Bryan left for the drug store to fill my pain medication, but when he got to Walgreens the pharmacist would not fill it because there was no dose amount on the Rx. He had to go back to the Labor and Delivery to get a new prescription. He called me to let me know what was taking him so long. Then Bug started to cry and my Mom went to him to find him covered in vomit. She worked on cleaning him up but my heart was breaking because I wanted to help him. I wanted to be there for him but had Lady Bug to care for. I did give in shortly afterwards, and asked my Mom to please take Lady Bug and I began caring for my son. I got him cleaned up and back in bed, but as soon as I did that, he was fussing again, and right when I was sitting on the edge of the bed, I pulled him close to me and he vomited ALL OVER ME! We both started crying. I felt overwhelmed and helpless. Bryan came home a few minutes after this, and came and took over. He told me to take a shower and get my jammies on. I complied.

During the night Lady Bug did great through. It was actually fun and easy, but tiring too. But so rewarding.

When I woke up the next morning both of my legs were swollen. Way more swollen then during my pregnancy, and they HURT. I could hardly walk. I dealt with it through out the day. By the afternoon I was really miserable. I called my Dr. Office and they told me that I was over doing it, and that I was officially on BED REST. NO walking around, and told to let my Mom and Bryan take care of things. This is a lot easier said than done. I like to do things myself. I tried to comply with the Doctors wishes.

That night I was going to sleep in my own bed, and Bug was going to sleep in his own bed since he was feeling better. I was happy to be in my own bed. Lady Bug was in her bassinet next to my bed. I tried to nurse her during the night but ended up coming out to the living room to nurse and sleep. It was a hard night. Lady Bug was up most of the night, wanting to eat, and I was not feeling good. My upper back had been hurting most of the day, and my feet and legs still hurt.

The next morning my Mom helped me to tuck my self in on the couch and elevate my feet while Bryan took Bug to his first OT appointment at the new location. With in an hour I was short of breath and not feeling good. Bryan called me and that is what made me realize that I was having trouble breathing. Taking in a breath. I called my Doctor's office and told them what was happening and the nurse said that I should go to the ER right away. So I called Bryan and told him come home as soon as he could and explained what we needed to do.

When he got home we headed to the ER. Filled out some paperwork and then we got a room assigned to us. Soon the doctor came in and asked me a few questions. He noticed my very swollen feet. He ordered a Ultrasound of my legs to rule out any blood clots in my legs. He ordered a Chest X-Ray to check my lungs. He ordered a CT San of my lungs to see if their was any clots in my lungs. My sister had a blood clotting disorder that was diagnosed while she was pregnant with her boys, and I did get tested for the same condition early on in my pregnancy and it came back that I did not have the condition. But it really looked like I was having the same stuff going on. The Chest X-Rays were done, the Ultrasound was done, and some blood work was drawn. Everything came back normal. We were waiting for the results from a urine sample and time to have the CT Scan done still.

In the mean time I got bumped from my room because a trauma situation was in route and they needed my room. I was pushed out into the hallway on my bed, in my gown, with a brand new baby who wanted to be fed (breast fed). I was a nervous wreck when the trauma case arrived because it was a young boy not to much older than Bug. Bryan over heard that he was hit by a dump truck. I cried. It made me think of Bug.

Shortly after this the Doctor came by saying that he was working on a room for me, and that he was working on getting the CT Scan done as well. Soon I had my new room, was able to start breast feeding, and then a guy came in to take me to get the CT Scan done. So picture this.... I am breast feeding Lady Bug, she is under a blanket, and I am laying on a bed that is being pushed down the hall way of the hospital. I felt all eyes on me. I was embarrassed, and wanted to slink away into a corner. I got the CT Scan done and was returned to my room to continue breast feeding. The ER Doctor came in shortly after wards and told me the results of the CT Scan. I have two blood clots; one in each lung or a Pulmonary embolism. I was admitted into the hospital and set up in a room.

They started me on blood thinning medication (inject ables) and have been giving me some pain medication. My mother stayed the night with me last night, so that Bug could be home with Daddy. Bug is very sad right now, and keeps asking where I am at. I miss him so much and try to talk to him on the phone several times through out the day. It has been good for me to have Lady Bug to care for. It has helped to take my mind off things. She is the best baby! I might be bios in saying this but she is perfect for me. I love holding her, breast feeding her even though it hurts really bad most times ( I am working on seeing a Lactation Specialist to work on things.), I love holding her, looking at her. And the best part is I love her just as much as I love Bug. I understand what it means to love all your children. My heart has expanded even more. I have enough love for Bryan, Bug and now Lady Bug. It is amazing to me. All my worries I had about how I would feel towards her when she was born are gone! I am happy to be her mommy, and Bug's mommy too.

Returning to the story...

I did end up being put on Oxygen last night because I woke up and the pain in my chest got worse. It was a very sharp stabbing pain on my left side in the back. The Oxygen seems to help but not to much. The pain medications just seem to keep things at bay for now. I am glad I am on them, because it was bad when I didn't have any on Tuesday night.

I can't believe I am back into the hospital. I am sad. I know that I need to be here to get better. I am being patient that the Doctors will take good care of me. I met with the hematologist today and was explained the future treatment. The lady was very good at explaining to me everything, but I have to admit most of it went over my head. I am trying to read about things on the Internet (thanks to my wonderful hubby who once again brought me my lap top to blog while I lay in bed for hours on end) I am pretty chipper most of the time. I am just glad that the ER Doctor did the CT scan of my chest. I am glad that something was found, because I have to tell you I really started to think it was all in my head. I felt like no one was believing me when I said I didn't feel quite right. The ER Doctor was surprised that I had noticed things so early, because he usually sees patients who have their hearts racing as the first thing they notice, and by that point things are way more serious. Not that mine is not serious, but it shows just how much of a woose I am when it comes to pain. *L* I am so sensitive to the way my body feels. Bryan says I am totally a "girl".

So I think that is going to have to be it for now.

I am going to leave you with some pictures taken in the past few days.

The happy family.

Me and Lady Bug getting some sun. She had a bit of jondish. (sp) (yellow skin)

Bug with Grammy.

He loves to play with Grammy out in the back yard. She taught him how to climb up on the teter totter swing all by himself!!!

Lady Bug sleeping after a feeding. She loves to have hear hands near her face.

Me at the hospital. See my feet? *sad* (can't believe I am posting this picture)

13 jittering comments:

MaryRuth said...

I was wondering where you were!! I'm SOOOOO sorry to hear that you're having problems!!!! Please take care of yourself... and maybe after everything is taken care of that this will be pleasant memory... meaning having the one on one time with Lady Bug in the hospital... maybe if you were home yu wouldn't be able to have that one on one time with her... looking for the silver lining in all of this... :)

Good luck and please keep us posted!!!

When you're feeling better I can't wait to hear the birth story... how you went in to labor, etc.

Good luck!! We'll pray for you!!!

Aimee Kieffer, aka "Momzoo" said...

You are so BLESSED that they found this when they did! I am so glad you are getting the treatment that you need.

Keep it up with the breastfeeding, it always hurts at first, but given time (if she is latching properly) the pain will go away and you will love breastfeeding!

jennbecc said...

I'm so glad that everything was caught quickly so that you can start treatment. Love the pictures...I can't wait to see lady bug in person and to give bug a big hug. Love ya!!

Stephani said...

Wow Brenda, my goodness! I sure hope they get the clots taken care of and you heal well and feel well. I will keep you in my prayers.
Your Lady Bug is SO sweet! I'm so glad you posted a close up picture. She looks so much like Bryan to me, with you mixed in too. =)
I'm glad you have your computer at the hospital, what a blessing the internet is isn't it? In our day it's so great to have for social contact and communication, and us women so need that, especially when we're stranded due to circumstances we can't control. I hope everything goes smoothly and you are able to go home soon. Please let me know if I can help in any way.

Andrea said...

Wow! so glad that you are ok and being taken care of. Enjoy the rest and one on one time with the baby.
That photo after her feeding is so adorable. What a cutie!
Made me laugh at your bf while being wheeled around the hospital. Nothing like doing it for all to see. lol.
And no matter what people say nursing hurts BAD for a long time! (almost 6 weeks for me).
Take care!!

Renee' said...

Oh I am so sorry! I am glad that you are in the hospital and getting better. You need to be there to be a strong mother to Lady Bug and Bug. I am so happy for you and deserve all of this happiness!
Please call me if you need anything!

Christensen family said...

I hope you get feeling better soon. You have a beautiful family. I am so glad your mom is here to help and be with you!

We love you!!!


Anonymous said...

OMG girl I am so sorry. I wish I could be there to help you! You have had a rough road. Thank God for a special hubby. He is great with Bug.
i am praying for you.

Renee' H said...

OMG Brenda!!! I was wondering where the beautiful pictures were of LadyBug. You poor thing. I'm so glad that your mother is here to help you with everything. I never would have guessed a pulmonary embolism, but gosh, that's very serious. I love the close-up of LB, she's really beautiful and I can't wait to hear more of the other stories about the kiddos. Get better and you'll definately start to feel better too.

Sara Rose said...

Brenda! I am so sorry for the extra hospital stuff! I know those beds are horrible!!! I can't wait to see your little one! You are a good trooper! Please let me know if I can help! Sara S.

Anonymous said...

hello I love you

The Girls and Dad B. said...

She's a cutie! Your feet, not so much! LOL I am so glad she's here and healthy, now we just need to get you healthy! I hope you are feeling better soon. Keep me posted. I am hoping to come by some time this next week to see ladybug (oh yeah, and you too)! :)

Becky said...

OH, Brenda- I can't believe all that you have gone through! I am so sorry about having to go back to the hospital- at least they are able to help you fix the problem.

On the up side- I totally know what you are talking about when you say your heart expands to be able to love that new child. Your love isn't divided- you just have more of a capacity to love!! Your TIME does have to get divided though . . . as you found out. I have had to learn to let one child fuss while I take care of the other- and truly I think it is actually good for kids to have to share their mommy. It teaches them patience (well- I hope anyway - - some days it doesn't seem that way!) It can be overwhelming. I am just so glad that your mom and Brian were there to help with Bug being sick- how aweful to have the flu at your house the day you come home from the hospital!

Oh- and a side note - - breast feeding ALWAYS hurts for me right away- and it does get better! Unless you are having wierd bleeding or swelling there- don't be too worried. Usually it took me a week to two weeks for it not to be painful.

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