Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Thanks....& more random thoughts


First off, I wanted to thank you all for your nice comments on my long post where I talked about my feelings about losing my Foster to Adopt Son last year at this same time. It really means a lot that you guys would care enough to say such nice things. Your comments have helped.


I am doing better today, and dealing with my feelings better. Time will heal me more, and once Lady Bug is finally born I will have my mind on other things. Good times to come.


I have been feeling really cranky the past few days too, because it is getting to the end of this pregnancy process, and my Body is Tired! I have been feeling guilty that I want it to be over. And have had several people tell me to just be patient and let Lady Bug come when she is suppose to come. I know I should not rush things...because as soon as she is born then I will have my hands full. Right now she is quite and not crying, and everything is contained, but to tell you the truth, I really want to start the next phase. I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights (oh, wait, I am already experiencing that with getting up to go pee every hour!!!).

I look at the clock each time I get up to go to the bathroom and here is the times I got up last night. *L*

I went to bed at 9:50pm

11pm

12:34am

1:55am

3:16am

5:26am

Then Bug was up at 5:58am

People talk about the strange vivid dreams they have during pregnancy. But I have yet to have any really interesting ones (well maybe 2 or 3 scary ones). I think it is because I only get about an hour of sleep and then I am woken up by either my legs aching or the urge to go pee. Could explain.


I was blessed by Heavenly Father yesterday by a church friend calling me to get my results for Visiting Teaching last month. I have to be honest I was dreading calling her back, because I was not very successful. I had hoped to get some notes to the sister's I and my partner (who was out of town) visit. But it didn't happen. I just didn't want to be a flake. I called the church friend back and she gave me exactly what I needed. She told me to cry my eyes out at my next appointment! *giggles* Well, she did say to do this but to explain to my Dr. what I am going through and try to get a plan in order so that I can see a finish line. I plan on doing this tomorrow at my next appointment. I had hoped that what the Dr. had promised me 4 weeks ago was happening (the procedure -stripping membranes) but he suddenly has changed his mind or is acting like he doesn't remember saying it.


What hurts right now....

Low tummy (below belly button), Making it hard to walk, sit, lay down, any position basically.

My skin on my tummy feels like it is burning....from all the stretching. I have stretch marks like crazy.

My hands hurt....all the time....the only thing that doesn't make them hurt is typing....well for a little bit. Sleeping is the worse...they get so stiff that I can't close my fingers, or put any pressure on them to help lift me up out of bed to go to the bathroom. I have tried an ice pack on my wrists to see if that will help, NOPE...in fact made it worse...so I tried Heat, but nothing....not worse though, just felt the same.

My feet are swollen, my nose is swollen (just noticed it today) and my hands are swollen. :( and because they are swollen they hurt and ache most of the time. :(

I can't bend over or squat to pick up things that I drop on the floor because my grip is gone. I get light headed/ and lose my breath when I walk up stairs....
my right knee gave out on me the other day when I was trying to get up off the floor when I was playing with Bug.


I know that many other woman who have experienced pregnancy have dealt with the same stuff and they survived...and it will be over soon....and I really am not trying to have everyone feel sorry for me. I am really mentioning these things so that I can go back and read them in a few months to remember how it felt. How unhappy I was when things get bad down the road, and they will (I will have good days and then not so good days) so I want to remember how I felt now to remind myself that it will not last. Hoping it will help me to get through what the future holds.


Well, enough rambling....


My friend Alyson wants to take me out to lunch today...since we have not gotten together much this summer. It will be good to get out and have some adult conversation.

Bug and Bryan I think are going to Mobius today.

I also have my Monthly Book Club meeting tonight. The book for tonight is the 4th book in the Twilight series - Breaking Dawn....and I have not read it yet! (actually I have yet to read the 2nd or 3rd books....I just have not felt like reading it. ) But I am planning on still going. I know that is weird, but I am the type of person who fast forwards to the end of the reality shows to see who gets voted off before I can watch the programs. *L* I get to stressed watching the show wondering who is going to get voted off, and the shows love to draw out the suspense and it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!


I know! I am already CRAZY! *L*

5 jittering comments:

Renee' said...

I love you my friend! Sorry you're going through all this misserable stuff. Can't wait to meet Lady Bug!

Jandre said...

yeah, my personal favorite pregnancy quirk is when you pick something up and it falls out of your hand so you have to squat to pick it up. Then, that squatting kills your knees, and no sooner do you stand up with said object in your hand when it falls from your limp grasp again. Lather,rinse, repeat, several times. Man, I hate that! It'll all be over soon. I must have the bladder of a camel cause I don't hardly ever get up to do to the bathroom at night. Lucky me I guess, as I would have to crawl over Forrest like 40 times a night, that would probably not make him very happy!

Andrea said...

Oh ya.. it will all be over soon. I was so happy to not be pregnant anymore. It's so nice to be able to bend and move. And ya, it will be different and still tired, but so fun to have your baby.
Hang in there. The baby will come soon enough.

Grammy said...

She is not done baking yet! You don't want her half done now do you?? The timer will go off when it was set for. *smiles*

Stephani said...

Brenda, you are cute. I love reading your posts. ;)
Yes, I think we are blessed with all the discomforts of pregnancy so that those first few months with a newborn seem all the more heavenly, lol.

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