Rockin' Froster- A good treat for a good cause

Received the link to this short video and thought I would post it on my blog to help get the word out. We will be going by Wendy's to buy our Frosty to help the cause.

Protect our children or send them back to be killed?

This is a post from Momma Chaos from her blog called Kingdom of Chaos. I asked her permission to post this here because I just was so moved by what she typed...and I couldn't have said it better myself.

Just suppose one day a husband came home and his wife did something to irritate him.
Maybe she asked for money, or spilled food.

He hit her.

Hard.

He broke her arm, fractured a rib, and knocked out a tooth. When she went to the hospital, medical personnel called police and he was arrested. Later he pled guilty to abuse and was sentenced to jail.

His wife went to stay with her relatives while recovering. Six months later, the man gets out of jail. He wants his wife back. He gets a free lawyer and goes to court.

The court orders the wife to go on dates with her husband and work out a plan to get back together. Later the court orders the wife to return home for overnight visits.

Finally, regardless of the wife's opinion, the court orders her to return home and resume the marriage.

Outrageous!

Unthinkable?

Substitute the word "child" for wife and the word "family" for marriage. As long as children are seen as possessions and "family reunification" is more important than "best interest of the child" NOTHING will change."


-Marcia Swanson





I read the quote above on a foster board that I frequent and it has been saved and sitting here for a few weeks.. just waiting on me to figure out the words that I want to say.. The above quote is soo true. If any of us knew a battered woman, what would we do? We'd tell her to get the hell away from the abuser! Run and never look back! Get police protection!

Instead our system put soo much clout in the PARENTS rights and not what is in the best interest of the children. So many times kids are held in the system for months/years and then tossed back at the birth parents- in the process being ripped away from the only 'family' they've ever known- their foster family.

Many times, it seems that DCS is soo bent on reunification that they speed things along or overlook things that just shouldn't be overlooked and then the terrible occurs.. Children are killed, some just abused and returned back to the system but even that damages their fragile emotional wellbeings.



I've heard of so many deaths of little ones lately [Tajanay Bailey (the 3yo who was murdered by her mom & mom's boyfriend after being reunified from fostercare) & Sheldon Bartley Jr. (a 2yo that was recently accidentally smothered by his mother who was either high or drunk or both- also had charges of neglect against her from the previous summer) ~ both from Indiana with parents that have had run ins with DCS .. and of course the more famous case of the mother who killed her four daughters in Washington, DC - 6 DCS employees were fired over that case] it seems like nothing is changing. You would honestly think that with so many deaths- well publicized deaths involving DCS- there would be a call for an immediate change.. I hope that the system is somehow overhauled to start looking out for the best interest of the CHILD, but I seriously doubt it..

Posted by ~Momma Chaos at 2:36 PM
Labels: foster care

Gone

Just wanted to post that Squeeker is no longer with us. He went to live with his Maternial Aunt and Uncle. The case worker was confused when he told me that the new Relatives that were popping up where the Step Uncle. It never was a Step Uncle, but the original Aunt and Uncle that I mentioned in the post here, here, and here.

Bryan stayed home from work today and was here when the case worker brought Squeeker home. He said that the Aunt and Uncle cleared. We told him to take him right then. It was the most difficult thing for me to say and I didn't want to say it, but I had too. The case worker kept saying that it was up to us when he would go to live with the Relatives, and finally Bryan said that if he didn't go today, then when, and the case worker said Friday. We said "NO", we can't keep him two more days knowing he was going. He needed to go right now. Then the case worker tried to make it happen tomorrow, because he didn't have a car seat for him, but we said "No". We can't keep him knowing he is going. It is done. The case worker said that he didn't want to just come in and say that

I am embarrased to say that I have already said my good-byes to Squeeker when the Aunt and Uncle popped into the picture a week into the placement. I have just been going through the motions of caring for him and have not allowed myself to get to close. Infact I have been rather, unloving when you look at how distant I have been with him. Once this Aunt and Uncle where mentioned I basicly "checked out".

Thank you to you all who read my blog. The ones I know, the ones who have left me comments and those who have just been looking and not commenting. It has helped to express my feelings during this process. I feel like I have been heard.

Please keep us in your prayers during this time. I guess it kind of feels like when a family finds out that their new born baby has cancer and is going to die....not totally the same, but they too have to care for their child and sit around and wait for the day they die...just like we have done with wondering when Squeeker was going to go.

We told the case worker that we would never do this again, and he tried to stop us and say that just because this situation happened not to close the door completely, and leave the door open for the future, but I am going to say...."We are NOT going to do Foster to Adopt again. EVER!" The only way we will have another child in our home is if they are legally free before they even step through our door into our home.

We are going to try to go to the Temple next week.

Frustrated

Nothing new to report in the Squeeker situation. Did have an argument with the case worker today.
I started to type it all up and then realized that it is just so "OLD" talking about it all. Lets just say that I am not doing well with the case worker. I told him that I would be picking Squeeker up after the visitation today, and then 2 minutes later he said, "I will pick up Bobby *not Squeeker's real name* after the visit and will bring him to your home." I said, "Bobby, You mean ***** (Squeeker's real name) and he laughted and said, "Oh, yes. I mean *****. " I then said, "We just decided that I was going to bring ***** home and that you didn't need to do it. Do you not remember our conversation 2 minutes ago?" He gave me some lame excuse that he has so many cases and that it comes with the territory to be so confused. I told him that I didn't agree with that. I have worked with other case workers who have never messed up a name before or forgot 2 minutes later what I had just said. He then proceeded to say...."You remember what they talked about at the Foster Training Classes....We are not an Adoption Agencey." I stoped him. I was MAD! I said, "I am not talking about that....I know that Squeeker could go to another home. I know that no placement is a promise to keep the child...but that I was talking about the fact that he called Squeeker by the wrong name and that he didn't listen to me when I said that I would be picking Squeeker up from the visit today and that he didn't need to do it. UGGGGGG!

I called his Supervisior and after calling her two times finally got a hold of her and told her my concerns. Don't think anything really will happen. But she said she would check into the Marriage Certificate that still has not surfaced, and also talk to the case worker about calling me back if he is going to be bringing Squeeker home later than 30 minutes after the visits are done, and then discuss the mix up on the name situation. And she said to call her if I had any other problems.

There is so much more...that I want to rant about, but I don't want you all to read about such depressing stuff. Plus, it makes me feel bad just focusing on the negative stuff going on in my life. I have many great things I need to focus on, like Bug and all the amazing things he is doing. And how beautiful the weather has been lately, and how great my husband has been during all this yucky stress. He has been good to me, and has helped me to stay calm. He is a good balance for me.

updates on toes and the drama of the foster care system

Bug's toe is doing better. He is running and jumping and climbing all over the place. I am pretty sure that when we see the foot doctor on Monday he will be giving me good news. In the mean time we are keeping the brace on and trying to limit his running, jumping and climbing...trying is the word. Not working very well. I am just glad that this didn't happen during the winter because we have not had Bug wearing any socks on the sore toe and if it was cold....his toe would be frozen.

Things with Squeeker continue to be a drama. After finally getting hold of the case worker a week ago (this is a new case worker)...visitations with his birthmother and her boyfriend (possible new husband) on Wednesday of this past week. This was the same day of the trip to the ER for Bug's toe and I had to call Dispatch at the DSHS office to explain to them that I could not drop off Squeeker by 1pm for the visitation because of the emergency. When we got home, Bryan rushed off to work and I put Bug down in his crib...he had passed out at the ER from the pain meds they gave him. I called the case worker and then he came to my home and picked up Squeeker for the visit. It was now about 1:45pm. He told me the most upsetting news yet that I have experienced with this whole Foster to Adopt roller coaster of a ride.

He told me that there was another relative that has popped up that wants to take Squeeker. I asked if it was a relative on the birthfather's side, he said no. I asked if it was the birthmother's side...he said no. I was confused. He then said it was the birthmother's current boyfriends brother. You should have seen my jaw drop. What The? This person has no more connection to this child then Bryan and I do but he can just take him if he passes all the back ground checks and stuff? What is this world coming to? To be honest....I was not a very nice person to the case worker and I realized that I was about to loose it when I stopped myself and took a deep breath and tried to ask how this could happen. The case worker is so confusing and makes no sence to me at all. I was even more confused just by him talking.

He took Squeeker to the visit and did tell me before leaving that he would be bringing him back and that the visit was probably going to be later since he was late getting him to the visit (It should have been from 1-3 but it was going to be more like 2-4). At 4:20pm I called Dispatch and asked if Squeeker's visit was done and if the case worker was bringing him home. The worker on the phone said that the visit was going tell 4:30pm and that yes the case worker would be bring him home afterwards. By 5:20pm I was getting a bit nervous and worried. We only live 3 miles from the DSHS office. I figured in my head that the most amount of time it could possibly take would be 30 minutes. Time to get Squeeker to the case worker, time for him to get him out to his car, and loaded up and then time to drive to our home....probably hitting all the stop lights because of rush hour traffic. Even though we only live 3 miles away we must have 20 stop lights between here and there. But at 5:20pm still no Case worker and no Squeeker. I tried to call the case worker, no answer. I tried Dispatch, closed- after 5pm. I tried calling the front desk, closed 5pm. I even called Squeekers old placement caseworker's cell phone hoping she might have the new case workers cell phone number so that I could try to call him, but I just got her voice mail. I probably sounded like a FREAK on the message because I was really upset. I was paceing all over the house. Crying and just all upset.

At 5:30pm the case worker finally showed up with Squeeker, and I told him that I was worried...he said that Squeeker was sleeping so soundly that he decided to get some work done in his office before coming to bring him home. I told him that I would have appreciated a call, because I had to call to see when the visit was done and then when he had not showed up with him almost an hour later, I got to worring, and it made it even worse that I could not get a hold of him. I asked for his cell phone number for the future.

Bryan then called the case worker on Thursday and asked him to please clearify the situation about this non-blood relative. Bryan figured out that this case worker has not even confirmed that they are married yet. That he is just taking their word for it and does not have a marriage certificate proving they are married. He told Bryan that he would ask them to bring proof. I guess yesturday (friday) the case worker told them this and then the case worker called our home while I was out at the Donation Station (picking up some free clothes for Squeeker and Bug- because I am a Foster parent and an Adoptive parent), and told Bryan that he asked them if they were married and they said yes, and he told them to bring proof.

So I guess there is a new law passed in the state of Washington, that the word Relative Placements can also be related by marriage not just blood. If Squeekers' birthmother is married to this guy then this guy would be his step father and the relative interested in taking him in would be his step uncle. Rediculous. If Squeeker was older and knew this guy then "Yes" I would agree with the idea, but he doesn't even know this guy. Has had no relationship with this guy. Squeeker is only 1 month old.

So that is it. If Squeeker ends up going (I hate the waiting and the not knowing....this is going to be a very long weekend) then I told Bryan that I can not and will not do this again. I need to protect myself and I can't emotionally go through this again. Bug will be an only Child. Sad but I will not do this to myself again.

Ramblings of a sleep deprived woman

Wish I had more to report...or blog about. Just have been busy.
I think I have got an evening routine down for Bug, Squeeker and me. It has worked for the past 4 days so I think it will continue. Squeeker slept so well last night. He didn't wake us up for feedings until 4 hours. This was so nice....sleep is good.

Squeeker weights 7 pounds 6 ounces and continues to get cuter and cuter. I will try and post a picture of him soon. He is not very photogenic like Bug was when he was little, so it is hard to get some good pictures of him.

It has been crazy dealing with a new case worker. I have been trying to get a hold of him for 3 days and that was after a week had already gone by with the switch to a long term caseworker and he had not called me. Visitations with Squeeker's birthmother will start up next week. Ugggg. I think it is stupid to give her a second chance....because she was doing Meth the day she gave birth to him so she really didn't seem to care about this baby she was carring. The new case worker was not happy that she was given a second chance either but he has to do what the law says. It was nice to hear that from him...even though he can't do anything about it. It just made me feel like he understood how I was feeling. Other news....I guess the birthmother and her boyfriend are married now. At first this bothered me, fear that she could really get her act together and down the road the judge award placement with her and this guy, but then I got to thinking, this guy has been in jail *infact was when Squeeker was conceived- so is not the biological father although his name is listed on the birth certificate * also he has had a vasectomy (spelling). Being in Jail could cause a big big big problem for passing a back ground check...and cause problems with placement and since birthmother is married to him....she is stuck.

Anyway...I ramble.
I wish that I had more fun things to blog about...I am totally missing my lessons with Bug! I need to get back on track....because planning things to do and activities at home, crafts was so much fun and I think Bug really liked them. He is surprising me everyday with the new things he can understand. I have some flash cards that ask questions about numbers....One said...how many cats are there? There was 5 cats on the card along with 3 balls. He counted only the cats and told me 5! I was amazed that he understood the question! Way cool!

sorry so long again.

Well it has been an interesting week. I had not idea that it had been a week since I last posted. Sorry to all my readers out there (not sure there are many), but I know there are a few.

So here is a quick review.

Squeeker is still here. Have not heard from the new case worker yet. I think it is a good sign for now.

We had a little visitor on Wednesday. I was outside with the boys in our back yard when I heard a small little "Meow". There was a little black stray cat. I ended up taking it to the animal shelter. Didn't really want too, but I have my hands full right now with my two cats and the boys. Here is a few pictures of the little thing. Bug enjoyed him.

Grammie T. came to visit us last week. She arrived on Thursday. We all went to the Airport to pick her up. It is so nice that we live about 10 minutes from the airport. We went to the wrong baggage claim and when I finally convinced Bryan that there was another Baggage claim area we we were all running through the small airport trying to find my mom. Bug was happy to see her, but I don't think he realized who she was until she took off her glasses when we got to the van to head home. He got a huge smile on his face. He had such a great time with Grammie.

Squeeker seemed to enjoy Grammie being around. He loved her holding him. He would fall right to sleep, so relaxed and warm. My Mom made a Quilt for Squeeker. Here is a picture of it. I love the Sail boats!

Here is a picture of my mom with Squeeker! To cute!

Squeeker update

Sorry this is getting posted so late.

By 2:30pm yesterday I still had not heard from the caseworker regarding the results of the background check on Squeeker's Birthmother's relatives. I gave her a call and left a message on her cell phone. With in 10 minutes she was calling me back and informed me that one of the Relatives did not pass the back ground check, so this disqualified them to take Squeeker in. So he is still with us. The case worker is concerned that the relatives might fight the decision not to place with them because other children in the past have been placed with them even though there was this situation popping up on the back ground check for one of them.
We will see.

When I brought him home from his visitation with his birthmother yesterday Bug came right over to his car seat and handed him his passifier, and blue blanket! I was so shocked. Bug really enjoys him.

Squeeker is doing well I guess. He is sleeping ALL the time! He hardly is awake and this concerns me a great deal. He is so lethargic. He has cut back on his bottles too. He was eating every 3 hours 2 oz...but when I try to feed him every 3 hours he wants to eat only 1 oz...and then fall asleep. I feel so bad that I have to strip him down to his diaper during most feedings because he will just sleep. It has been pretty warm here the past few days though.

His Umbilical cord feel off during the visitation yesterday. I found it in his clothes when I was changing him when we got home. He smells of cigs and heavy perfume after the visits so I feel like I have to give him a sponge bath so that he smells like a baby again.

Please keep Squeeker in your prayers that his belly button is okay. It looks weird and I am a bit concerned, and will keep an eye on it. He does have an appointment scheduled on Tuesday morning with his doctor so it could wait tell then, but we will see. Also, please keep us all in your prayers. We want him to stay with us and hope that is what Heavenly Father wants too.

Thanks for reading.

Sadness turns to anger...

Well I finally had to call the Caseworker. I had left a message earlier this morning but she had not returned my call or my husband's email. She thinks that this Relative will pan out, but background checks and reference checks still need to be done. She said she would call me tomorrow afternoon and let us know. If everything is clean then Squeeker will be going to live with them by Saturday. The case worker said that she wanted us to meet in a neutral setting for transfer, meaning that I would have to drop him off and see the Aunt and such....but the more I am thinking about this....I am going to tell her that I don't want to see them. That they will have to get someone to pick him up from my home and take him to them. I don't want to see them. I am not sure if they can get someone on a Saturday to do this....but I am Angry and I don't want to see them.

I called our liscencer and left her a message to call me back. I was under the impression that we were a Foster to Adopt home not a FOSTER HOME....and that is what they have used us for this time...and I am MAD!!! The liscencer is on vacation until Monday...and you bet I will be calling her on Monday at 12noon if I have not heard from her.

So I am MAD!

Sad today

Emotional the past few days. Wonder why? Maybe it is from the lack of sleep and my family and personal routine has begun to crumble around me.

Squeeker (baby boy we are fostering) is doing well. He has gained 2 ounces in a week being with us. We do have to take him back to the doctor for a full anslot of testing because the case worker does not know if it was done at the hospital. Tests such as AIDS, Hept, ect...and others, So next week Squeeker will get poked. Sad.

We have offically begun the emotional roller coaster ride. One day things are great, only to change to a bad/sad day with in seconds. Squeeker's birthmother has an Aunt who might want to care for him. I am SAD. The case worker is working on a home visit, and then a background check, today. I plan on calling the case worker tomorrow to find out what her GUT is telling her after the home visit. I just want to know if he could more than likely leave our home or not.
Uggg! I am rambling...and sad....and emotional...and feel alone.

Brothers

Here are a couple pictures that were taken yesturday. Baby is doing well. Bug is being sooooooooooooooo good! I am so amazed! This makes me very happy.

I am sooo tired today. We are staying home from church...because Baby is only 5 days old as of today! Plus I am so tired. Baby was up all night. He sleeps all day and is up all night now. His eyes are wide open and he is taking it all in. I don't mind him being up if he wants too, but I am tired and he wants me to hold him, and I can't sleep while I am holding him. So after 3 or 4 hours last night I finally just put him down in his bed and left...Bryan went in shortly after and managed to get him to fall a sleep and now this kid will not wake up for feedings. Ugggg. He is so sleepy during the day! I even laided him in some sun that was coming into the living room so that he would realize it was day time....and time to be awake, but he just slept.

I will survive....it is just hard when you can't really get any sleep.

So tired. I hope this post makes since because I am so tired, I might just be rambling.

Bug had a hard time falling asleep last night. I think it was 9:30pm when I headed to bed, and he was still up. I heard him playing in his room. I went down at 1am after I fed Baby and Bug had peed through his diaper and clothes, and he was sound a sleep. I managed to get him changed but he was awake again, and he had a hard time falling alseep again. He wanted me to stay in the room and kept putting his head up to see if I was still there. I finally just told him that I was sorry but I had to get some sleep....*little did I know that Baby would be wide a wake and crying upstairs and would keep me up another 2 hours*, but Bug was so good and said "OK" and I gave him his big monkey pillow and this seemed to comfort him, and I was able to head up stairs.

Oh, and I might have a nick name for Baby.... Fishie. Because he puckers his lips all the time like a fish....or another name my friend Alyson told me about, but I forget the name..it was cute, I will ask her again.

Oh, and Bug knows how to spell the word "GO" He was standing at the fridge this morning with his magnet letters and as I was making us toast I heard him say, "G" "O" "GO", and I turned around to seem him putting the letters next to each other and saying "GO" again!!!! I was so surprised. Here is a picture of my big Boy!!!

Anyway...I am rambling...I think I am going to try and take a little nap. Wish me luck.

Bug's got a baby Brother!!!

Well we offically have a new baby in our home! 3 days old to be exact. Since he is still so little and he has only been with us for a day we don't have a nick name for him yet so I will refer to him as "Baby" for now. I am sure we will be able to pick a perfect nick name for him in no time.

When Bug and I got back home from his Speech Therapy on Thursday there was a message on the answering machine, and I remember thinking to myself that it was a call about a baby. I listened and I was right. At this time though I was not sure if the baby was a girl or a boy. I called the placement caseworker back and he told me about "Baby", he was a little boy who was born on Tuesday, August 7th, 6 lbs 8 oz. Not sure how long. But he seems shorter than Bug was, I think. Bug was 19 inches. We said yes to taking him in because it just felt right. Even though we had wanted a little girl, I feel so right with this little guy instead. I know that Heavenly Father has given me this peace!!!

Sadly, this little guy was exposed to Meth during the pregnancy and is going through with drawls. No shakes since he has been with us, but he sleeps all the time. I have to wake him up to feed him and then he falls back to sleep. I now most new borns sleep alot but he really sleeps. He is so quite too, but can cry loud when he wants too, which is not to much really. He slept well through the night...I didn't. I could not get my mind to shut down.

There have been so many changes I have had to make to my schedule so far. Bug has swim lessons on Saturdays and we planned to go to a city event for kids on Saturday with a friend and I got a babysitter to watch "Baby" so that Bug and I can enjoy some time together.

We I got to run....bottle time!

Brick Walls

Well, it is Wednesday and I after having to call Vicky again to ask her to check with CPS in the other state where Bug's Birth Mother (BM) lives, she finally called me back with not so good news. It seems that it is pretty tough to get any information on the state of care this new little baby could be receiving. They would not let Vicky know if Bug's BM was even in the system there or not. They would not budge.
So after much tought...and prayer....I have decided to go a head and write a letter to Bug's BM and let her know that I know about the new baby, and that we can care for him if she gets into any trouble. We will see.
I have written the letter, have the pictures developed and will get it mailed tomorrow.
That is all for now.

Some heavy stuff on my mind.

Much has been on my brain lately. Where do I begin? For those of you who have been reading my blogg you might already know that my hubby and I are unable to have our own biological children. Long story for those who are new to reading my blogg, so to put it in a nut shell….we tried some treatment, then went through our church adoption agency…waited 2+ years with no placement….and then decided to check out Foster Care….and learned that the state was starting up a new program called Foster to Adopt. That was 2 ½ years ago. After buying our home and me being so “Mommy Hungry” my eyes were green with envy from all the people I knew around me getting pregnant, I finally finished all my paperwork and mailed it into the Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS).

I mention that “I” finally finished my paperwork because Bryan was done with his stuff with in weeks….but I was the one dragging my feet. Very pessimistic is all I can say…and fearful too.
We did the Orientation for Foster Care Parents and Adoptive Parents, took the 2 week coarse for Foster Parents, got our TB testing done, as well as health check ups, and CPR license done, and then the home inspection. We received our Foster Care License in February of 2005 and a month later got the call about “Bug” and begun the day to day process of caring for this special little person, but always fearful to get too attached because of the chance he might be reunified with his birthmother or birthfather. As time went on the fear was not as intense every day, but only on the days for review hearings or when birth grandparents popped up into the picture after 15 months. It was enough to drive me to tears and it did, but I trusted in Heavenly Father that His promise to get me through what ever would happen, was true. However things turned out He would not leave my side. And He did keep His promise, because on those hard, scary days He was there…through a friend whom I could talk to, through Bug’s Caseworker, through my family, in my Scripture readings, and through the Comforter the Holy Ghost.

We did finally end up Adopting “BUG” on November 13, 2006! And he was Sealed to us in the Spokane, Temple, on November 18, 2006!

That being said….I once again am placing my trust in Heavenly Father that He will help me in my next quest of being a Mother.

Bryan and I met with an Adoption Placement Caseworker through DSHS last Thursday. She was suppose to be at our home at 1pm and I decided to keep Bug up from his nap so that she could meet him….but by 1:20pm she had not showed and it was now and hour and a ½ past his nap and I tried to put him down….but he was not going for it. He was tired but he was fighting it now. I called the Caseworker, and left her a message. I was a bit upset….not for not showing but for the fact that Bug was cranky with no nap. I was in for a very interesting afternoon. Then at 2pm she called, apologizing because she got an emergency call and was working on placing 2 baby boys…she didn’t have our number to call while she was away from her office. She did manage to finally meet with her at 2:30pm and Bug was a huge PILL! She got a quick picture of the three of us and then Bryan tired again to put him to bed….he cried for a few minutes and then he was silent. We had a good meeting. Got all caught up with the changes in the DSHS department and what her new position was.
2 ½ + years ago, even though Bryan and I were considered a Foster to Adopt home, DSHS called us not for children who we could adopt but rather Foster. The Foster to Adopt program was really new and everyone was still a bit confused on how it was suppose to work. That is, until Vicky Miles came into the picture 2 months ago. She told us that she has placed 20 children in adoptive homes just in the past 2 months that she has been officially in this new position.

Most Adoptive Families in the past were really only Foster Homes…with the hope of becoming Adoptive homes. Unfortunately, several families could possibly go through 5 or more placements before finally being able to adopt a child. Hearing this from Vicky made me realize that we were very blessed with our situation in regards to Bug and being able to adopt him. He was our first and only placement, thus far.

So we are on the list….Officially….waiting for placement of a girl. And the waiting begins. I am ok….with the wait. Because Bug sure keeps me busy and distracted.


Ok….I know this is a long, long post. But I must continue…you can stop reading now….if you need to….but I must continue.

In addition to this news…..I received an email from Bug’s Maternal Grandmother (MGM) the beginning of June. It had been several months since I have heard from her….long story…miscommunication…but seems to be cleared up now. MGM told me that Bug’s Birthmother (BM) had been calling her to speak to Bug’s older half sister that the MGM adopted in September of 2005. I guess BM told the MGM that she a new baby. I thought she said she was Pregnant, and mentioned this news to Vicky when we meet with her on Thursday. Vicky said that we should let them know we were open to raising this child too if the Bug’s BM was not able to care for the child. I felt weird about discussing this with the MGM, but went a head and sent an email back letting her know that we were available if need be. I got an email back stating that BM had the baby (boy) in February. That she really didn’t believe a word her own daughter was saying….which is sad really….but unfortunately Bug’s BM is famous for telling lies.

I went on line and did a search and found out that, yes Bug’s BM did have a baby boy on January 30. I know the child’s name, and the Birth Father’s (BF) name. It was posted online in the local newspaper where Bug’s BM lives now, where the new babies are listed. I called and left this information on Vicky’s voicemail. I asked her if there was anything I could do in regards to my concerns for the welfare of this child. I just wanted someone to check in on the child and Bug’s Birthmother and make sure this baby was safe, and cared for properly. She has had two other children already removed from her care and adopted.

Vicky called me back today (Monday) and she is working on contacting someone in CPS in the state where Bug’s BM is now living to see what information she can find. And let them know that this woman has had two children already removed from her care. She will call me back hopefully tomorrow.

I am kind of in a quandary on wither I should contact Bug’s BM and let her know I know about this new baby. She has not written us to tell us and I don’t know how to tell her that I have been in contact with Bug’s MGM (BM mother) and she was the one who told me about the new baby. What is frustrating is the fact that Bug’s BM has never told the MGM that Bug was even born. CPS contacted the MGM when they were doing relative checks, and that is how the MGM knew of Bug’s birth. His BM still to this day has never mentioned to the MGM she gave birth to Bug. DISTRESSING, and Exasperating at the same time.

So that is what has been on my mind lately.Some heavy stuff.

CPR

Today I was in a CPR class. It started at 10am. I had a very interesting adventure driving to the location that the CPR class was being held. It was SNOWING! Tons and tons of snow on the ground. I was scared. My hubby would be so proud of me and how I was so calm even though I was scared. I drove on the Freeway too! By lunch time the main roads where melted and you could see the wet roads. It is going to be slick tomorrow. UGGGG!

But back to the CPR class. I had to take it to keep my Foster Parent License up to date. I was glad that I went. Things change all the time, and it is good to keep up to date. But I was also bored for the second part of it. I also, hate it when you have to act out a senerio where you are performing CPR on one of the dumbies. I am glad though that we didn't have to practice the Abdominal Thrusts on each other. I just hate touching people that I don't know. Bryan couldn't come with me today....he will have to go to a different class date, or maybe through his work they will have a class. Anyway....I am certified to do CPR....but really don't want to see if I can really do it. Luckly I have never had to really use my skills.

On a side note....the Bug did so good with his baby sitter. He didn't even cry when I had to leave. I am so proud of him.

Tomorrow we have church at 9am. It is going to be interesting to see if we (the Bug and I) can get out of the house by 8:15am because we have to help set up chairs in the primary room. Wish us luck.

update on baby girl

Well it looks like we are not going to be placed with the baby girl like we thought. It is a long story and I can't really go into any details at this time.

I am ok with the situation. I was really not to sure if I was ready to have another baby to care for at this time. She came over to the house yesturday like I wrote on Tuesday and Spencer did GREAT. He was a huge help to me and did not get upset at all while she was here.

She still might come to live with us but it is going to be a while longer until all the family (relatives are checked out for perminate placement first).

Also, I do have Pink Eye! How bumberish it that?!!! I was at a Foster Training Class last night and I had to leave early because my eye hurt soooo bad. I went into the bathroom during the break and my left eye was RED! Gross! Bryan went to Walgreens for me to pick up some stuff to help with the pain. It really didn't help to much but just doing something helped me to feel better about it. I saw my doctor yesturday about it and he just said that it was a viral infection and didn't look bacterial. But he didn't give me anything for the discomfort. I have my yearly eye check up at my eye doctor and I am hoping he will prescribe some med for me....it just hurts so much.
I am bumbed that we have the Sealing scheduled for Saturday and I will probably still have a RED eye! SAD.